Here is an assignment for British literature involving writing an epic poem about King David I had to do for school:
A long time ago in Israel, there once was a kid named David.
A tough little kid, or so it is said, though in size resembled an aphid.
But the one day the prophet Samuel came by;
Saying to Jesse, let me see your sons.
So I may anoint one to be king, for the King Saul is doomed to fail.
Son after son came, but to each God said no.
Then in painful frustration, Samuel asked "Have you no more?"
“Yes”, Jesse said, the smallest one who is tending the flocks;
"Bring him to me." said Samuel.
And so he did!
Then, when Samuel asked God if this was the one;
the answer was “Yes”.
So David was anointed by Samuel
and the spirit of the Lord descended upon him.
With all his brothers gone to war, he’s stuck counting the sheep.
While tuning his banjo and trying not to fall asleep.
One day, his father sent him with food for his brothers to the battle field at hand.
When he arrived he saw a large hill,
a hill so high, so skinny and tall;
It couldn’t be much of a hill at all.
Then, he couldn’t guess what would happen next, the hill moved, a little to the left.
Well, David was befuddled until his brothers called him over.
They told him it was Goliath, born and raised by the Philistines.
His challenge was one of mortal combat
with King Saul or one of his men.
Though David, the Aphid was a shak'n
and his nerve felt like a break’n;
He said, “I’ll do it” with a look of fear in his eyes.
After the stunned silence that followed, he inquired:
“What’s the matter?”
But all they responded with was laughter.
They laughed till dawn and dusk and a little in the afternoon,
But Saul the King, one of them all replied: “Sure”.
Received with a shocked countenance from all,
Saul took Aphid David to his tent.
He gave him a suit of armor
That was ten sizes too larger.
So David the Aphid declined the offer.
Settling for sling and stone,
Walking up to Goliath, saying “I’ll fight you!”
The Giant gave a little chuckle and said “OK”.
So the stage was set, Goliath the Giant and David the Aphid-
The first with sword and spear;
The other with stone and sling.
Goliath charged, but David slung his stone
Slamming straight through Goliath’s bone.
With that shot the Giant was down;
Rejoicing was inevitable, David the Aphid: Hero of Israel
Afterwards he was made War General for his work.
David won many battles for Israel with that title,
But Saul was not please.
For he was fearful and jealous of David’s power;
Fearful that he would rise up against him,
And jealous of the people’s praise.
So Saul tried to kill the aphid, but David escaped his wrath,
Running into the wilderness with his men.
Through many harrowing adventures and close encounters,
David found Saul in the King’s camp.
He showed Saul that his life was in his hands, yet he would not take it!
The king had nothing to fear from him;
they parted with peace.
But unknown to both, all of Israel’s foes were coming.
From the East, West, North and South.
In that great battle Saul’s sons fell one by one,
But Saul would not be taken.
He retreated to a cave,
And when his servants would not slay him,
He took his own life.
All hope seemed lost, but David the Ex-Aphid came;
He drove out the evil armies of hate
And established his kingship.
David, Ex-Aphid took kingship with grace and dignity;
The greatest king of all Israel!
The moral of this story is not to be picky when the teacher says its okay. I DID NOT want this to be a silly rhyming poem, half Shel Silverstein, half Dr. Seuss, but I had to get it done. Even though the teacher said it was okay, I still did not want it to half rhyme and have only partial meter. But finally, when the assignment was due in two days, I finally relented and made it rhyme. Even though It wasn't too bad under the circumstances.
